Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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