you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do vagina's smell?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
