First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
