Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
