My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
