he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
True strength comes from lack of pants
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
