i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
