I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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