I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
