We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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