he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
