I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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