Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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