i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
