mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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