Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
