I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize