Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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