awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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