there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
