real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
