my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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