Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
