"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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