its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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