She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You are the jesus of drinking
Im part way to drunk.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
