The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize