My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
