Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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