Whod you bang
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
