wanna go halves on a baby?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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