you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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