Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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