Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
