after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize