i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
