the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
