I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
