Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
