oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
