Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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