just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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