I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize