So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
