Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
