carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
