watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
