i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize