Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
