Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
