I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
