You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
