Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You smell like stripper and shame
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
