the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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