No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
