Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
