shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
