I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
