How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
