and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
