I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
