GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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